The Blame Game
Submitted by kurt.stewart on Fri, 03/12/2010 - 00:05
“Come on down Peter, come on down Mary, come on down John, come on down everyone. You are about to begin the blame game. Step up to your little stand and on the count of three yell out all the names of the people and situations in life you would like to blame for not being rich, successful or happy. Ready the countdown begins, 3……2………..1 Go!”
Names are being yelled out left right and centre, screaming voices are heard, anger in building. Finally the bell sounds to end the blame game.
“Okay we have a winner. The person who yelled the most names, who was the angriest, who was the most excited about naming names, who wanted to blame everyone is contestant number 4. Come on down winner of the blame game. You are officially the angriest most blaming person here today. You are the greatest victim here. So tell us contestant number four, what kind of a life do you have?”
Can you imagine a show like this? It sounds horrendous. It sounds so unreal that it sounds funny. Yet it is not a show but an everyday occurrence. It is life! People blame one another all the time for the things that go wrong in their life or for not being successful or for just not having whatever they think they should have. Blaming is usually done from the safe position of a large comfortable chair. Just take it easy, blame someone and you will feel much better. Get together a group of other like-minded blamers and you will be able to feed off each other for hours.”
(excerpted from the soon-to-be published book, This v. That – Change how you see your world, by Bronwyn Bowery-Ireland, ICA/Lobii CEO)
OK – who hasn’t played that game sometime? The thing about the blame game is it’s so easy to play. You don’t need any special skills or training. In fact, I’d say we’re all born with this “talent”.
So what kind of life do you imagine our contestant number 4 has? Well, if he’s blaming everybody and everything for where he’s at, he’s most likely a prisoner. Yes, he’s created a little prison for himself, and given away all his freedom. Because when we blame things outside of ourselves, we no longer have control over what happens to us. It’s the fault of something outside of our control, therefore I am powerless to do anything about it.
But when we choose to take personal responsibility for our lives, the whole picture changes. We step out of that prison - we are free! Imagine the power and liberation that comes from being able to say “I won’t blame anyone or anything for the way my life is. I am fully responsible for the outcomes in my life”. As soon as you can choose this perspective, and really own it, you take back control of your life.
So ask yourself where you might be playing the blame game. Are there any areas of your life at the moment where you are blaming or feeling a bit of the victim?
